I had the pleasure (?) of setting up 2 new Dells this holiday season (Dimension 5150, and Inspiron 6000). I really appreciate the opportunity to enjoy consumer electronics from a regular user's perspective. I rarely get to do this, because I tend to buy my hardware from the sketchiest of stores and OEM when I can get it.

Note: I set up an Inspiron 600m some months back, and knew what I would be facing upon first boot – so I took the time to write down my story.

Dimension 5150

Once I reached the windows desktop (this always takes a while the first time the computer is booted) I was greeted with NORTON INTERNET SECURITY 2005 completely obscuring the nice Dell wallpaper. Now from a consumer's perspective that is a smack in the face; you spend good money on a shiny new Dell and the first thing the screen finally settles on is a giant warning screen. Is this thing even connected to the Internet? Shit Dell doesn't care, they sent NORTON INTERNET SECURITY 2005 to save me. Well thanks Peter Norton you just helped raise the Internet Fear O Meter 10 more points.

Wondering how long I could avoid the scare tactics of Norton, I just ignored the dialogue box and tried to take this smok'n new system for a spin. Less than 2 minutes later the cutest little Dell virus creature pops up in a helpful little window warning me about dangers of using this brand new computer. His words were, "worried about your PC's security?" – well seeing as how Peter Norton warned me 2 mins earlier, I decided these threats must be real - I clicked the 'details' button. This took me ONLINE to Dell's site (with Microsoft Internet Explorer of course). Hold on a sec little helpful virus guy! I am clearly not ready to be on the Internet! Could Dell have not put these files locally? There are several hundred megs on C: that already belong to Dell goodness, why not put a little useful info there?

Reading Dell's (oh so helpful) online advice;
They list their security advice in the following order;

Step 1: Use Anti-Virus Software
Step 2: Use a Firewall
Step 3: Keep Windows Updated
Additionally
Prevent Spyware
Use Safe Internet Practices

Uh Dell if you read those tips in the opposite order you would safe your users a LOT of grief! I am not going to rant any further about how completely backwards these suggestions seem.

Having been sufficiently scared by Peter Norton and Dell's virus creature, I caved and clicked next on the giant NORTON INTERNET SECURITY 2005 dialogue. The caption alone almost made me feel more secure; "Click 'Next' to start Full Protection". Noting the suspicious * on the screen a read the fine print … "Norton Anti Spam does not support AOL Mail". There is so much AOL shit all over this computer by default, you just know that there are Dell users using it. Why ship a total protection package that doesn't protect you totally? Having clicked 'Next' there was no turning back, so I continued on to discover that this was only a trial version anyways … oh thank god! I thought for a moment I might be able to use this computer safely 3 months from now …

Would you believe I had to accept the Norton Licensing agreement just to uninstall it!?!

Insipiron 6000

Having recovered from the fright that was taking a Dimension online, I dared setup a Dell notebook. Surprisingly there was no Norton to be found. There was a bunch of great AOL software preinstalled and I was happy to find my virus buddy again. In lieu of NORTON INTERNET SECURITY 2005, I found the McAfee offering. At this point I didn't honestly know if this was better or worse. I put my competitive bias aside and vowed to give the McAfee security wonder app 3 strikes. Nowhere did it say this was a trial version (I later found this to be true). I started it up and was momentarily impressed by the look of it – I then went to update the thing and the fun started. I was forced to provide no end of personal details and a working email address – all I wanted to do was exercise my god given right to virus signature updates! I went through 3 different web pages (in IE again of course) to try and update this product. Who the hell updates their anti virus scanner through a rinky dink webpage. Shit this should be one click on my proactive part. In half an hour of struggle this McAfee offering got 3 strikes and then proved its true worth – it was easier to uninstall than Norton!

Is it safe to turn my computer on?

Dell has gone out of their way to try and protect their customers, but has done little more than cause consumer anxiety. Who goes out and shops for stress? PC buyers apparently… The entire Dell Experience was nothing more than half implemented band-aid solutions that failed to work together or even notify the user that they had successfully navigated the path to protection. Dell would have done a better job if they had shipped these systems without modems, network adapters, or wireless cards.