I had always assumed that it was easier to ask the questions than it was to answer them, but I quickly discovered that this was not true. Sitting across from a badly prepared candidate was a new and unwelcome species of agony. Some interviews were positive and enjoyable, but others were excruciating. An interview that goes badly for the candidate, it seems, is even worse for the interviewer.

In order to avoid terrible interviews in the future, I resolved to write an essay on the subject. We expect applicants to have researched the company before we interview; this is not unreasonable, as access to information has never been easier. I hope that candidates will find this essay during the course of their research. Reading and understanding it should help limit the number of awkward, unpleasant interviews we have to sit through in the future.

This essay is primarily directed at co-op students. However, it will contain information that will be useful to any potential nCircle employee.

Here is a list of things that a successful applicant should do:

1. Mind your language -- particularly in the cover letter

There is probably some law that prevents me from simply reprinting some of the cover letters that we received. Perhaps it's just as well; I have no intention of ridiculing any particular candidate (however much he or she might deserve it). This section of the essay is meant to make some general observations about cover letters, and why we received so many bad ones.

It should be noted up front that most students have only limited work experience, and that experience tends to be in fields that are not related to computer security. As a result, we generally don't have much to work with when screening applicants, and so the cover letter becomes an important determinant of who gets an interview and who doesn't. Consequently, if your cover letter looks bad, you look bad.

The position of Technical Librarian Intern requires a certain facility in the English language, and we received many letters that completely failed to demonstrate it. If you cannot tell the difference between "effect" and "affect", or if you write "it's" when you mean "its", then you're not going to have an easy time of it. If you think that punctuation is for decoration, then you're not going to get very far.

But even those errors could be forgiven. More worrisome were those cover letters with problems that made us suspect that the candidate did not know what he or she was talking about. Or worse still, did not even care.

It is apparent that students are encouraged to write in a very affected (not "effected") style, using many large words and formal phrases that are intended to impress the employer. But when the letter does not make any logical sense because the candidate is trying to use "magic phrases" without understanding them, we are only impressed by the applicant's ineptitude.

Your cover letter should be an expression of you, not what you think we want to hear, and above all, not what somebody else told you what we want to hear. Your cover letter should tell us why you're the best candidate for the job, in your own words. You don' t have to write a sonnet. If you use plain language, write plain language. There is no harm in doing so; indeed, plain, clear language is always welcome in technical writing.

It's also helpful to demonstrate that you understand what you're applying for. This means that your cover letter should be rewritten to suit the job you're applying for. This might take some extra work, but if you're not willing to show us that you actually want the job, why bother applying?

Some students betray themselves by using a template with which they write all their cover letters, and failing to disguise the fact when they leave information about other companies in the letter that is supposed to be meant for us. In other words, if your cover letter, ostensibly sent to nCircle, includes the name of another company in the body of the text, then your odds of getting an interview are not very good (and by "not very good", I mean "zero".)

2. Calm down

There were a number of candidates who were clearly uncomfortable with the interview. They were so uncomfortable that I was afraid they would tear off their clothes and leap out the window. Fortunately this never occurred, because it would have been very awkward to explain to the co-op coordinators precisely why there was a naked dead student surrounded by broken glass on the ground five stories below us.

We understand that interviews can be very stressful, particularly for those students who are using the co-op salary to finance their education; there is a lot riding on getting a good co-op job. But you cannot afford to let yourself be mastered by your nervousness. If you think the interview is frightening, working at nCircle can be much worse. Most dismaying were those candidates who, apparently out of fear, were willing to agree with anything we said. Even things that were patently ridiculous.

There is a lot of adversarial discussion at nCircle. That's how we do business; we hash out ideas, we subject them to rigourous scrutiny. Our customers expect it of us. You might come up with what you think is a good idea, only to have it dismissed by your colleagues. But the fact that the majority is against you does not necessarily make you wrong. If you feel that your position has merit, you should defend it. Force your opponents to justify their own positions. If you surrender, we could be missing out on a great idea, and that's why we need people who are willing to stand up for themselves.

3. Flattery will get you nowhere

There is no advantage to be gained from telling us how wonderful we are. We already know that we're wonderful. In fact, I understand that as long as we work at this company, we are legally obliged to say that we're wonderful. Although we would say so in any event, because it's true.

The flattery is particularly galling when it's obvious that the candidate has no idea of what he or she is saying. We usually end up hearing a confused retelling of the information on our website that the applicant is trying to dredge up from memory. Telling us that we are the "leaders in vulnerability" is not helping your cause. We like to think that we are the opposite of "leaders in vulnerability". Most security companies do.

Incidentally, that leads into the next point.

4. Don't make up stuff.

We ask difficult questions during the interviews, and not everyone is going to be able to answer them all. However, we do get candidates who think they can answer anything, and they do -- mostly by giving answers that are so spectacularly wrong that we were tempted to search the room for Allen Funt.

Don't try to fool us by pretending that you know things that you don't. It is better to admit ignorance than it is to fake competence, particularly since you're not likely to get away with it.

5. Be Sincere

If there is one piece of advice that should be taken to heart by every nCircle candidate, it is this: be sincere.

Your co-op coordinators have a duty to give you the best possible chance of finding a job. In order to do this, they find out what kind of candidate employers want, and they teach you how to act like that candidate. Unfortunately, their commendable zeal in fulfilling their duties leads to problems; it causes them to encourage you to be insincere, to hide yourself behind a false face. So we ask questions that are designed to tear off that mask, to smash it to pieces on the ground so that we can see you, you, only you.

This leads to an arms race, or rather, an armour race. We break the masks, and the students exchange information about our interview process, trying to create stronger masks, better disguises, more sophisticated forgeries. But this can only harm you in the long run, and harm us as well. Fooling us is only fooling yourself.

Our interview process is meant to find people who are not only technically competent, but who will be able to work well in our environment. Not everyone is going to be suitable for nCircle. We have an environment that is very rewarding for some people, but very trying for others. So if you ignore all the suggestions above, and somehow fool us into believing that you are someone who you're not, you will probably not be happy.

We derive no benefit from your unhappiness. It does us no good to have you trapped in a co-op job that you despise for four or eight months. In this respect, your interests and ours coincide.

Since I started this long essay with a military theme, I'll end it in the same fashion. I wish to offer a truce, or rather, a treaty, to all nCircle applicants. If you agree to present yourself in a sincere manner, using your own words, expressing your own ideas, then we will offer you at the very least an interesting and entertaining interview. And perhaps more. Much more.